“Friendship is the most selfish thing there is.”
(Wallace Stegner, Crossing to Safety, 140)
Are friendship and selfishness opposites? Most would answer yes to this question, like the philosopher Cicero, “There is nothing more fatal to friendship than… the greed of gain” (De Amicitia, 10). However, I would disagree. I would say friendship is built on selfishness. Scripture and Christian theology seem to agree. Contrary to common opinion, friendship and selfishness are not opposites, but instead are linked through the Gospel.
This question is not only ponderable, but also significant. Many Christians treat friendship in an ascetic fashion, stripping it of its joy, pleasure, and efficacy. They fail to see the link between friendship and a selfish humility found in the Gospel. I use selfish humility because it is not earthly and material selfishness that is linked to friendship, but a humility that selfishly finds its own joy in the joy of friendship. To prove this means to free Christians from the burden of ascetic friendship and to take back the power of friendship for the glory of Christ.
This is part one of a six-part series discussing the selfishness found in friendship. The next five short posts will prove how friendship is built on selfish humility, observe this principle in Scripture, affirm it with philosophy and theology, interpret it, and finally apply it. Be sure to stay tuned and comment with your thoughts.
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